The holidays are often painted as a time of connection, joy, and togetherness. But for individuals healing from betrayal trauma — whether from infidelity, emotional deception, or other ruptures in trust — the season can bring a different kind of emotional weight.
Moments that once felt comforting — family gatherings, shared rituals, exchanging gifts — can now feel layered with sadness, confusion, or distance. It can be hard to celebrate when your sense of safety or belonging has been shaken.
At Untethered Therapy, we often remind clients that healing doesn’t pause for the holidays. You don’t have to pretend everything is okay to belong in the season. It’s okay if what you need this year looks different than it has before.
The Collision of Image and Emotion
The cultural script of the holidays — togetherness, forgiveness, celebration — can intensify the tension between how things look and how they feel. If you’re navigating betrayal trauma, you may feel pressure to show up, smile, or “keep the peace” even when your heart feels guarded or raw. That dissonance can be exhausting.
It’s okay to honor what’s true for you instead of performing what’s expected. Healing requires authenticity, not perfection.
Protecting Your Energy
Betrayal trauma impacts not only trust in others, but also trust in yourself. During the holidays, you might:
- Feel unsure how much to share or how vulnerable to be.
- Experience triggers in familiar places or moments that used to feel safe.
- Struggle with boundaries — between hope, hurt, and self-protection.
This season, allow yourself to move gently. Set boundaries that support your healing — whether that means shortening visits, skipping events, or creating new traditions that feel aligned with where you are now. It’s not selfish to protect your peace; it’s part of reclaiming it.
Redefining Connection
Healing from betrayal doesn’t mean closing off — it means rebuilding connection with intention. Sometimes that begins not with others, but within yourself:
- Reconnecting to your own intuition and emotional truth.
- Rebuilding confidence in your voice and your boundaries.
- Allowing small, safe moments of closeness to unfold at your pace.
The holidays can be an opportunity to practice that, to redefine what connection and safety look like now, rather than trying to recreate what once was.
If the Season Feels Tender
If the holidays bring more confusion than comfort, remember that healing from betrayal takes time. Therapy can offer space to process grief, rebuild trust, and navigate the conflicting emotions that often surface this time of year.
At Untethered Therapy, we believe that healing happens one honest moment at a time.
This season, permit yourself to show up as you are — whole, hurting, hopeful — and to know that even in the midst of pain, your healing is unfolding.